more about old dogs (and inlaws)

so the previous post explained the perils of email lessons and demented elders. Now, lets talk about the word "laptop" a minute. It's a compound word. You can break it apart into "lap" and "top". This is no mere coincidence. The thing about a laptop is this: you can put it on TOP of your LAP. Try to remember this amazing fact. Keep in mind also that the REASON my MIL needed a laptop was to play card games on the lawn. So for at least one moment she understood the function and capabilities of a laptop.
It didn't last long.
The day after she got her laptop she made her daughter take her to Office Depot. Where she bought a desk. For her laptop. Since, you know, none of her tables would do. Thats fine, whatever floats her boat right? Yeah well, the story doesn't end there (but I bet you knew that).
My MIL has 4 children. Craig/Greg, the oldest lives up north (and his name is another long story for another day). Anne, the only girl and the martyr of the bunch. My husband Chris, and Andy- the baby.
We got Andy to build the desk (hey, he builds furniture for a LIVING). We had to call him- because he only has a cell phone and MIL is convinced you can only call a cell from a cell and SHE only has a land-line... so she hasn't called Andy in 3 years. Lucky Andy!
Four days after it was built MIL tells Anne she wants to play solitaire in bed. Anne spends an HOUR explaining to her how to unplug the laptop and carry it to the next room. Anne is confident she has made her point.
The next day Chris goes over to check on MIL and MIL needs her desk moved into her bedroom. You are NOT asking "why?" are you? You know why, you just don't believe it. Its true though. She needs the desk moved so she can play games in bed. So Chris spends an hour explaining to her that Laptop is a compound word meaining computer you can put on your LAP. Showing her how to unplug it and carry it away. Asking her did she think he was going to carry the desk outside this summer? How did she expect to play cards on the lawn? Wasn't that why she bought a laptop? She waves this off... she needs to know Can she plug it in, in the bedroom? Chris wants to know Can she plug in a radio? a hairdryer? Yes? then yes, she can plug in the laptop.
Later she will call me. She will say that Anne thinks she can UNPLUG her laptop and Still Use It! She will laugh, poor stupid Anne to believe such nonsense. She will ask me to take her to the store. She needs to buy a cell phone. So she can call Andy. So she can make him move the desk. Because she wants to play solitaire in bed.
Can we stop at the post office too? She needs to send an email.